Comments on: Caustic Tongue http://tularainwater.com/blog/2009/09/09/caustic-tongue/ Life Reflections and Lessons Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:52:51 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Tula Rainwater http://tularainwater.com/blog/2009/09/09/caustic-tongue/#comment-1190 Tula Rainwater Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:34:10 +0000 http://tularainwater.com/blog/?p=59#comment-1190 James, I feel terrible that you and your wife are going through this. It is not easy when the carrier of the caustic tongue is a family member. It's more troubling that her counselor seems to be making things worse instead of better. Is there perhaps an opportunity here for family counseling with the 3 of you? This will allow you to hear firsthand what the counselor is telling your daughter and it will also allow all of you to work together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find peace with this issue soon. Blessings, Tula James, I feel terrible that you and your wife are going through this. It is not easy when the carrier of the caustic tongue is a family member. It’s more troubling that her counselor seems to be making things worse instead of better. Is there perhaps an opportunity here for family counseling with the 3 of you? This will allow you to hear firsthand what the counselor is telling your daughter and it will also allow all of you to work together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find peace with this issue soon.

Blessings,
Tula

]]> By: James Ashcroft http://tularainwater.com/blog/2009/09/09/caustic-tongue/#comment-481 James Ashcroft Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:08:49 +0000 http://tularainwater.com/blog/?p=59#comment-481 My wife and I are breaking our hearts. We have recently become estranged from our beloved daughter because of her caustic tongue. This has been going on for many years but we have suffered it. Twelve years ago we wrote to her and told her exactly how we felt but never had the courage to give her that letter. Now her short marriage has recently ended and she focussed her anger and pain on us. We tried to sit with her to explain how we felt and were traumatised by the venomous nature of her response. Having recently been profusely thanked for all the support we gave her in the early days of the breakup, we have now been accused of causing her mental damage throughout her life because of the type of (good/deep) relationship we had with her. We have also been accused of messing with her divorce - which shocked us as this isn't or wasn't on the cards as yet. She says she has had to receive counselling and her counsellor has advised us that we have caused her mental and emotional damage. What is worse is whilst we always knew her grandmother had a caustic tongue, we have only recently discovered that this 'syndrome' is also prevalent in 2 of her female cousins and 2 uncles (one of my brothers told us only recently). If there is an inherited propensity for this we feel some responsibility to help her if only as a means of making her aware of the pain she causes people closest to her. Because of this tendency within her we are very reluctant to approach her about it but we feel we have as good as lost her now so we may have nothing more to lose. However, part of what the Counsellor has told her is that she does not have to go anywhere (mentally) that she does not wish to go so she will not allow us to approach her about anything. Her grandmother never addressed the problem - she refused to acknowledge despite numerous patent attempts on behalf of my brother. As a result she finished up with 3 failed marriages and died lonely and bitter even though family lived a short distance away. We don't want this to happen to our daughter. When she's not being caustic she is charming and lovely. This is breaking our hearts. My wife and I are breaking our hearts. We have recently become estranged from our beloved daughter because of her caustic tongue. This has been going on for many years but we have suffered it. Twelve years ago we wrote to her and told her exactly how we felt but never had the courage to give her that letter. Now her short marriage has recently ended and she focussed her anger and pain on us. We tried to sit with her to explain how we felt and were traumatised by the venomous nature of her response. Having recently been profusely thanked for all the support we gave her in the early days of the breakup, we have now been accused of causing her mental damage throughout her life because of the type of (good/deep) relationship we had with her. We have also been accused of messing with her divorce – which shocked us as this isn’t or wasn’t on the cards as yet. She says she has had to receive counselling and her counsellor has advised us that we have caused her mental and emotional damage. What is worse is whilst we always knew her grandmother had a caustic tongue, we have only recently discovered that this ’syndrome’ is also prevalent in 2 of her female cousins and 2 uncles (one of my brothers told us only recently). If there is an inherited propensity for this we feel some responsibility to help her if only as a means of making her aware of the pain she causes people closest to her. Because of this tendency within her we are very reluctant to approach her about it but we feel we have as good as lost her now so we may have nothing more to lose. However, part of what the Counsellor has told her is that she does not have to go anywhere (mentally) that she does not wish to go so she will not allow us to approach her about anything. Her grandmother never addressed the problem – she refused to acknowledge despite numerous patent attempts on behalf of my brother. As a result she finished up with 3 failed marriages and died lonely and bitter even though family lived a short distance away. We don’t want this to happen to our daughter. When she’s not being caustic she is charming and lovely. This is breaking our hearts.

]]> By: Caustic Tongue « Tula Rainwater’s Weblog http://tularainwater.com/blog/2009/09/09/caustic-tongue/#comment-16 Caustic Tongue « Tula Rainwater’s Weblog Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:24:11 +0000 http://tularainwater.com/blog/?p=59#comment-16 [...] Click Here to Read Full Blog Post [...] [...] Click Here to Read Full Blog Post [...]

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