We all have difficult seasons in life. During these times, it’s a lot of work to find any blessings. We concentrate on the difficulties. We concentrate on the hurt. We concentrate on all that has gone wrong. We become overwhelmed with despair, anger, hurt.

Strong emotions, aren’t they?

We hear over and over again to look for the good things in your life during these times. But how do you do that when you’re overwhelmed? When you’re in the middle of a mess? When you’re angry and hurt?

HOW??

It’s not easy. I fear that in many of my posts I make things sound easy to do. I know it’s not. That’s the whole reason I write some of my posts… to hopefully encourage and help some of you. Everything I suggest and talk about requires a lot of work. A heap of openness. A large dose of reality and sometimes hurt. It requires shoving self-righteousness aside. It requires holding your ego back. This is not an easy thing to do. So it helps to look at things in the following way…

Realize for once and for all that how you have been thinking, what you have been doing and the choices that you made are not working and it’s time for a change. How can I say that those things are not working for you if I don’t know you? Well, if you’re in a mess or the same mess happens over and over again, something you are doing or how you’ve been thinking is not working. Albert Einstein once said “Insanity – doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”… it’s kinda like that.

How can you say that I need to change, Tula, when this person and that person and this person did these things that caused this? Please know that this is your ego talking… and I’m not trying to be mean here. So, I hope you open your heart to what I have to say. Yes, people do things that cause us hurt. The easy thing (and what most of us do) is to place the blame on someone else. “It’s his/her fault! THEY did this to me! THEY hurt me! HE/SHE is the bad guy!”

HE…

SHE….

THEY…..

I have done this more times than I can count. It’s the first place our egos and our hearts go. It’s natural. It’s a way to protect ourselves.

When you find yourself stating these things.. it’s time to dig a bit deeper and ask yourself some questions. Were there any warning signs that I missed? Did I ignore any gut feelings or instincts? Did I jump into the situation too fast? Did I do all my homework before I made a decision? Were there choices that were presented and I made the wrong choice? Did I at least gain something from this experience?

If you’re not clear of what I’m stating here… let me give you an example. I was in a particular situation in which I was deeply hurt. My initial reaction was lots of anger at another person and pointing the finger of blame towards them. I was right and didn’t do anything wrong. The other person, however, was very wrong. Yet, I cared about this person so much that it was difficult to stay so angry for too long. So when I was done being angry I meditated over the matter and asked myself many of the questions above and came to the realization that the only person I was really angry at was myself.

You see, I had seen the writing on the wall when the situation began. I pegged that this person would not be ready for this and even spoke up about it. I was assured otherwise by this person. My gut feeling didn’t go away, though. So I had a choice to make: either trust my instincts or trust this other person. I made a choice to trust this other person. In the end, I got burned and hurt.

Is it really fair to be angry at the other person? No, not really. I had a choice. I made a choice. Clearly, I made the wrong one even though I knew better based on my own instincts. I can only be mad at myself for not paying attention to what was obvious to me from the beginning.

In digging further I also found a beautiful blessing. From this person who happened to be very inclined to listening to pastors online, I was re-introduced to the concept of walking with the Lord. I think most of you know by now that I believe in God. I also happen to believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. I think most of you have also guessed that I am pretty spiritual. But this person presented to me (not through words but by actions and our interactions) that believing and being spiritual is simply not enough. I realized that I had to get back to actually walking with the Lord. I hadn’t really been walking with Him for a long time… but it was time to get back to that. Could there possibly be any greater blessing to find when you’re hurt than to simply realize that you need to come back to Jesus? I certainly can’t think of a greater gift.

Even though hurting is a point in life most would least likely think you can find a blessing, if you view life the way I do (that everything happens for a reason and every person in your life is brought to you for a reason) hurting is just as likely a time as any to find a blessing. The key is having your heart open to God, prayer and meditation before you can find the blessing that lies within.

This entire process took about 2.5 months for this particular situation. I have had other situations where the process was quicker (perhaps a few weeks) and other situations where the process has taken longer (a few years). So I do know that this is not easy. But I promise you that this process of finding blessings during difficult times and hurt is well worth the effort. It will open your eyes to many things about yourself and others as well as bring you blessings beyond measure.

Can you think of a time when you found a great gift and blessing in the middle of a difficult time? Is there an event in your life that was very difficult or caused a lot of pain that you need to re-visit so you can find the blessing and set yourself free? If so, please share in comments below!

**Please don’t be afraid to post your comments below. Your comments help me find other ways to help people reading this blog. So your participation is encouraged and appreciated! You can even make up a fictitious name when posting your comment so you can remain anonymous. I would really love to hear from you!**

Blessings to all of you,
Tula Rainwater

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